Content vs Happy

Definition of content: to be satisfied with what one is or has; not wanting more or anything else.

In order to clear up any misinterpretation, to be content is not to be happy, but to be satisfied. It means to be neither happy nor sad, but an emotion that is in between. These 2 different concepts often get mixed up. To put it simply, to be content is to be not sad, to be almost happy but not yet to the point of happiness.  It is like coveting the new top of the range BMW, but instead getting a Toyota Prius. You get a reliable car that satisfies all your needs, yet you know deep down inside that the Prius is no BMW.

Religion has always preached contentment, to be satisfied with what one has. Is that the way we should be leading life? Should we not strive for more? 

“Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.” – Philippians 4:11

“Riches are not from an abundance of worldly goods but from a contented mind” – Prophet Mohammed

“Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship.” – Buddha

If everybody in the world was content, to be satisfied with life, the world will not be as we know today (for better or worse). If the Wright brothers were contented, the first plane would not have been invented. If the people in IBM were contented, the first personal computer would not have been made. If Steve Jobs and Apple were contented, the first Apple product would not have be created. The list of people who weren’t satisfied with contentment and strived for improvement goes on. And they all have significant contributions to the progress of the world. I personally feel that there is absolutely nothing wrong with endeavouring for more, to pursue happiness, and such a pursuit should be applauded.

I am not advocating everybody to strive for happiness and deprecate contentment. I think that there are 2 main groups of people. There are the people who are able to live in contentment, perhaps a simple, easy and satisfied life. And there are people who are willing to fight for happiness and risk sadness. For one to be happy; he or she has to inevitably experience sadness as well. Therefore to be content is also to minimize pain and misery.

There are people who prefer driving along the autobahn (highway) and people who love driving on dirt roads through the mountains. There is no better “type”. It just depends on what the individual hope to get out of life. I am definitely the kind of person who strives for happiness and will always continue to do so.

There is however another group of people in between. The people who desire to be happy, but cannot find it in themselves to get out of the rut of contentment. The people, who always dream of travelling around the world, but produce an inexhaustible number of excuses to remain where they are. The people who, when drunk, passionately declare their plans and dreams, but everything remains status quo when sober. It is these people who I find objectionable. These are the people who constantly delude themselves or lament on the obstacles that prevent them from achieving what they want. At the end of the day, they are neither truly content, nor are they happy. These are the people who should decide what they truly want, and make the first step towards the right direction. 

Be it in your job, in your material desires, your ideals or even your relationship. If you are determined to be not just contented, but happy, take the plunge. On your deathbed, the things you regret the most are the things you want but didn’t dare try for. If you are contented with what you have, fine and good. If you are currently pursuing happiness, all the best. However if you are pretending to be contented or still too afraid to try for the happiness you desire, it’s time to make your life-changing decision.

Life

We came into this world crying and upside down.

Eventually learning to talk, to walk, to laugh and to frown.

Discovering a kaleidoscope of different emotions.

From anger to love, joy to sadness, or any combination.

We don’t so much as find ourselves, we actually create.

Through experiences and external influences all amalgamate.

As we walk down this road called life and grow.

We embrace the soaring highs and suffer the cataclysmic lows.

No matter what might happen, life still goes on.

Till it’s time to go forever, then all is gone.

Life is a touch of miracle, a temporary gift.

So we have to truly live life and not just to exist.

Life is hard, life is tough, life beats you around.

It is also beautiful, delicate, deeply profound.

You have to fight back yet also appreciate.

To love, to persevere, to procreate.

Everybody has to finish walking the entire way.

You can choose to do it happily or in dismay.

Life can only be understood backwards but lived forward.

You might wish to turn back time, but it is not bothered.

So live life for nobody else, only live it for you.

For it is you the grim reaper has a rendezvous.

It is still not too late to make a change.

Let loose, be free and let nothing be a restrain.

 Gabriel

Love at first sight?

“The moment I laid eyes upon you, I knew deep down in the recesses of my heart that you were The One, the person that completes me, the Juliet to my Romeo, the partner for the rest of my life.” This narrative is the effect of the enigmatic and arcane phenomenon, love at first sight.

In French, the “official” language of romance, there is a saying: coup de foudre. The literal translation is “bolt of lightning”. Figuratively, it means love at first sight, where the attraction is so sudden that it comes like a bolt of lightning. Also, the feeling is supposed to be like a shock to the system, therefore lightning.

Love at first sight is not a new phenomenon. From ancient Greeks and Romans, there were Eros and Cupid, the respective God of love and desire. If struck by their magical arrow, you would be left reeling with instant love and attraction. In the 16^th century, “Romeo and Juliet” was written by Shakespeare, the work being an embodiment of the idea love at first sight (albeit a slightly crazed one). Today, we see countless of movies, books and songs with that theme, from Cinderella to Twilight to Scarface.

Does coup de foudre exists? Few scientific studies have been done on this subject. There are many explanations for instant attraction, from primal instinct for the best mate (women with big hips), chemical balances (men who oozes pheromones) to associative attraction (ex-boyfriend always wears cap therefore like men who don’t wear caps). However these studies measure lust and physical attraction instead of the cryptic feeling of love.

Let us, for the sake of this discussion separate love from lust and physical attraction. Love would probably imply the willingness to commit one’s entire future. It would also have to involve some form of self-sacrifice along the way. Can anybody be sure of shouldering such responsibilities in mere instances? Love is supposed to be between 2 people with compatible personalities and similar interests (at the very least not total opposites), the ability to tolerate the flaws and imperfections. However can you even tell any of those flaws and imperfections within the first 10 seconds? If you don’t know what flaws the person might have, can you be sure that you will be able to tolerate them and love the person? Can you tell anything from the person besides how he or she looks?

There are many accounts of happy couples who vouch for the existence of love at first sight, and are living proof that it happens. However there are many, many more people who vehemently deny its existence. If anybody who started reading this post expected a definite answer to if love at first sight exists, I apologise. But hey, if experts can’t give a proper answer, I won’t even bother trying. 

 I personally doubt I would ever be ready to commit my future and perform heroic acts of self-sacrifices for a person I have met for 2 minutes. I even have trouble with doing all that for my girlfriend of a year. The realist in me cannot fathom this phenomenon. Nevertheless, the romantic in me sincerely wishes that it exists, and that I can experience that magical moment myself. Perhaps it is because this idea has been so romanticised and commercialized by mainstream media that we all covet it deep down inside. After all who wouldn’t like to be “struck by lightning” and swept off our feet.

Put a gun against my head, I would have to say that I do not believe it exists. I want to, but I don’t. However I don’t even really know what true love is, so don’t take my word on it. I still cling on to that faint hope that it might happen, just as I hope I might strike the lottery some day.

A picture tells a thousand words?

If a picture tells a thousand words, what about a thousand pictures?

An excess of anything no matter how good and virtuous it might be, almost always leads to an unhealthy end. With the emergence of the digital age, every individual; man, woman or child owns either a smartphone, digital camera, or any other device with photo-taking capabilities. This has inevitably led to an incursion of photos being taken. Nobody is satisfied with one picture when they can easily take another hundred. Does this growing trend cause photos to becoming frivolous and inconsequential objects?

Certainly there are the professional photographers out there who continue to capture breath-taking, evocative pictures that convey feelings and oozes emotions. These pictures win awards and undeniably tell a thousand words or more. There are also the budding or aspiring photographers who seek to attain those lofty goals. However what about us common folk, the ordinary people who lack the artistic and creative disposition possessed by the acclaimed few? Well everybody who owns a digital camera or even a smartphone nowadays might think he or she has innate talent as a photographer (myself included), but let’s be honest. Our inflated opinions of ourselves are backed by as much evidence as there is film in our cameras, zilch!

20 to 30 years ago, film was expensive, both to buy and to develop. Each roll of film only allows for 24 or 36 pictures, and each shot would be worth a few dollars. This led to much fewer pictures being taken, and each one to be cherished. They were either going into a photo album or into a photo frame. Today, it is claimed that an excess of 880 billion photos will be taken in a year!

With such staggering numbers, have pictures today lost their soul? Pictures are said to capture memories that one wishes to remember forever. Photographs are supposed to tell a story, reignited certain feelings, evoke emotions. Amongst the 880 billion photos, how many can claim to possess these attributes? We have the freedom to take as many pictures as our batteries allow, to store as many as our memory card or computer can take, to upload and share as many as our sharing sites can hold. However how many of these hundreds or thousands of pictures are really “keepers”, pictures that really mean something to us?

Picture-taking used to be for special occasions, birthdays, weddings among others. Now, it has become part of everyday life. Today, almost 250,000 pictures being uploaded every minute on social networking sites. There are people who takes pictures of every meal they eat, every outfit they wear and upload it to share with the world. It is not uncommon to see tourists in all parts of the world spending more time behind a lens than actually living in the moment. As it is with any valuable object, the more the quantity or supply, the less the item would be worth. 

I personally think that we are now very often taking pictures merely for the sake of taking pictures. Pictures today are often empty, with little or no connection to a memory or emotion. Picture-taking seems to shift from capturing one’s memories to becoming a social action, a tool for individuals to broadcast to the world what they are doing or where they are at. Pictures are less of a personal, treasured item, and are instead a publicizing avenue to advertise oneself. 

Sometimes less is a lot better than more. In this digital age, we should not be caught up by the whirlwind of latest crazes and fads. Instead we should always keep in touch with the things that mean the most to us. Perhaps it is time for people to pause for a moment before snapping that picture. Put the phone or camera down and soak in the moment. If you want to take a picture, first ask yourself if this is a moment you want to remember years down the road. Every photo should be able to evoke some emotions, bring about laughter or tears, capture a moment that will be lost forever. When looking back at those treasured photographs, life would seem meaningful and precious as it is supposed to be. Photography is supposed to capture and record life. The more frivolous the pictures are, the more superficial life would appear.