Love at first sight?

“The moment I laid eyes upon you, I knew deep down in the recesses of my heart that you were The One, the person that completes me, the Juliet to my Romeo, the partner for the rest of my life.” This narrative is the effect of the enigmatic and arcane phenomenon, love at first sight.

In French, the “official” language of romance, there is a saying: coup de foudre. The literal translation is “bolt of lightning”. Figuratively, it means love at first sight, where the attraction is so sudden that it comes like a bolt of lightning. Also, the feeling is supposed to be like a shock to the system, therefore lightning.

Love at first sight is not a new phenomenon. From ancient Greeks and Romans, there were Eros and Cupid, the respective God of love and desire. If struck by their magical arrow, you would be left reeling with instant love and attraction. In the 16^th century, “Romeo and Juliet” was written by Shakespeare, the work being an embodiment of the idea love at first sight (albeit a slightly crazed one). Today, we see countless of movies, books and songs with that theme, from Cinderella to Twilight to Scarface.

Does coup de foudre exists? Few scientific studies have been done on this subject. There are many explanations for instant attraction, from primal instinct for the best mate (women with big hips), chemical balances (men who oozes pheromones) to associative attraction (ex-boyfriend always wears cap therefore like men who don’t wear caps). However these studies measure lust and physical attraction instead of the cryptic feeling of love.

Let us, for the sake of this discussion separate love from lust and physical attraction. Love would probably imply the willingness to commit one’s entire future. It would also have to involve some form of self-sacrifice along the way. Can anybody be sure of shouldering such responsibilities in mere instances? Love is supposed to be between 2 people with compatible personalities and similar interests (at the very least not total opposites), the ability to tolerate the flaws and imperfections. However can you even tell any of those flaws and imperfections within the first 10 seconds? If you don’t know what flaws the person might have, can you be sure that you will be able to tolerate them and love the person? Can you tell anything from the person besides how he or she looks?

There are many accounts of happy couples who vouch for the existence of love at first sight, and are living proof that it happens. However there are many, many more people who vehemently deny its existence. If anybody who started reading this post expected a definite answer to if love at first sight exists, I apologise. But hey, if experts can’t give a proper answer, I won’t even bother trying. 

 I personally doubt I would ever be ready to commit my future and perform heroic acts of self-sacrifices for a person I have met for 2 minutes. I even have trouble with doing all that for my girlfriend of a year. The realist in me cannot fathom this phenomenon. Nevertheless, the romantic in me sincerely wishes that it exists, and that I can experience that magical moment myself. Perhaps it is because this idea has been so romanticised and commercialized by mainstream media that we all covet it deep down inside. After all who wouldn’t like to be “struck by lightning” and swept off our feet.

Put a gun against my head, I would have to say that I do not believe it exists. I want to, but I don’t. However I don’t even really know what true love is, so don’t take my word on it. I still cling on to that faint hope that it might happen, just as I hope I might strike the lottery some day.